cherish

i just read this on fang's blog,
a very sad story
and really meaningful, give it a go ;)

______________________________________________________

MARRIAGE



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.



Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.



She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?



I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
pitied her!



With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.



She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of
me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.



The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.



When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
care so I turned over and was asleep again.



In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.



This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.



She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.



I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully..



My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the
office.



On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.



On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.




On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger.



She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.



Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.



Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.



But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.



I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.



She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have
a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.



Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.



At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.



That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I
run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.



The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend
and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a
real happy marriage!



If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.



If you do, you just might save a marriage.





Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they
were to success when they gave up.

_______________________________________________________________________

those moments,
that special someone,
cherish them...

Samskeyti

away from reality
this is thedream

i was thinking about getting a pick guard for my guitar
well yea i got weird responses from my college mates when
they noticed my guitar had "NO PICKGUARD ah? O_O"
and i explained that i didn't use a pick so didn't need one anyway

packed my guitar, went home and began cleaning it off fingerprints and smudge..
surprisingly i found tiny scratches on the right side of the body :(

then i think i became paranoid and curious
about the damage it would cause in the long run without having a pick guard on
so i looked up the internet and the images were disturbing T_T
if my guitar was wood-ish looking then okay i wouldn't mind having
a shade of bare wood showing on the skin
but mine's a glossy black and
no way am i gonna have a patch of wood there :(

so i might wanna get a custom pick guard (yay!)
and since my guitar is black it wouldn't be noticeable :3
have some friends sign it :) just to make it a tad special
then prolly get a protective sheet on the back of the guitar,
let phei fang draw her awesomeness there xD

and i want a DSLR :(
friend has his (cost him 3k -_-) and i got to play with it
took some cool pictures, and a DSLR really makes u enjoy taking pictures lol
well then where am i supposed to get 3k? :/

dreams they are,
and might always remain as that
but at least we have them to thank
for hope, for motivation
and for purpose :)

last but not least,
song of the day! xD
Sigur Ros - Samskeyti

it means boundary in icelandic

enjoy :)

Dreams? visions...

the bus took a while today,
both going there and back...
yeah i've been taking the rapidKL bus to move around nowadays
even to go to college :D (hey its cheap ._.)

had something called directed investigation today
and it was my first class -_-
kudos for bus being late +1
D.I. is like a assessment test but you do it in a group
and apparently they split it into 2 days
sounds fun eh? :D well this time not exactly...
kinda screwed up my DI -_- the questions are mostly related to each other
(plus the bus being late <_<)
so if you don't get the previous answer correct or done...
you'll be dead, and very lost :D

and when i was on the bus home
i was thinking...well this is what i usually visualize anyway
a broken human heart, not shattered or cracked
its still flesh and inside it, there's a spirit? a ghost of you maybe?
or just a mysterious presence in there
i tend to think of large spears, like those seen in anime and stuff xD
(hey they look cool) going through the heart o_O
like going in one end and out the other side,
and being lodged in the body itself :)
vanishing that person's hope, strength, emotions? stuff like that ._.
and that person walks around without meaning...

my mind plays with visions like that -_- no matter how abstract or gross it maybe :|
kinda like it though...sometimes have sad visions too and they do make me cry -_-
or at least sob..
that's how bad it is xD
(or is it a good thing? hmm..)

joanne seems to be having trouble now....again
can't cope with SAM's March intake apparently
well girl, you gotta work for your results...
they won't appear out of the blue if you keep slacking =_=
and i don't know what kheng yu's doing to help -_- heck i don't even want to..
this shall go into the bad memories box :D
and i hope she gets what she wants...or they

time for me to sign off :)
sorry if this post seems a little awkward
but i'm really tired so yeah x_x
brain not functioning xD
night..

...

its.....

























































yeah...empty,
hello world?...



darn............

here comes... [P]

last two days (well weekends)
had revision driving classes with my instructor for the last time
tomorrow's my driving test yay :D

ok no i'm not happy about it -_-
hope i don't screw up Dx
meh..and i don't know if this should be considered
good or bad but i'm skipping college tomorrow too yay :3
won't be writing a letter -_- since its just 1 day
if i do it'll be freaking troublesome to get all the signatures..

sides that i've got work piling up...again
(oh the hell whats wrong with SAM =_=)
well it isn't much...so i'll hurry up and finish'em before anymore turn up xD
end-semester exam on the 17th of May too...

and recently i've started playing The Sims 3 o_O
heh...its only for the house building and character part....
i don't exactly "play" out the character
mainly just design houses :3 and sims..
its a real time waster yes :|

oh and sorry i haven't been updating as frequently as i used to..
just not that many highlights this week ._.

might wanna hang out before exam week starts
but well thats just me :3
hope they got time :/

well guess thats all for now?
till my next post :) seeYa

Musiclass

ahhhh
today my class had a sort of like a
musical day, 3 of us brought our guitars (supposed to be 5 -_-)
played throughout the day whenever we could
we even had our lecturer Mr. Chan
(whom we had no idea actually played an instrument)
play a Spanish classical piece for us O_O
he was godlike :O
wish i caught a video of that...

the sad part was that my guitar was gone from my hands 90% of the time -_-
them peoples keep taking it away before i could even play anything...wth

lately stuff like that has made me think of how well i fit in the class
not so well it seems :/
they're just really self-centered and cliquey,
none i can click to (not even befriend! -_-)

my class is also filled with not-so-willing people it seems
(would love to say wimps but nah that sounds so backstabby ._.)
started out with 24 members and now down to 19,
plus another 3 people considering quitting SAM -_-
the hell...maybe its cause of the class,
most of us find it hard to concentrate in this class
cause of a few buffoons that suka suka make noise
and one guy that monopolizes everything (he thinks the world revolves around him wth!)
then, some prolly too pressured by the workload and expectations.
i too wanted to consider quitting but uh, i ain't that rich...
and no i'm not quitting just yet ;)

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

currently my class is the smallest in SAM
and i think it will get smaller still -_-
hope they stay....

-----------------------------------------------

and i wonder how she's doing...

this Saturday

woke up at 6 today
just to get on the 9am bus to ikano power center -_-
was gonna study with elyssia in the morning
at starbucks while waiting for the others to arrive

well we did, physics
and we got a present for erina tan :)
which is for her birthday on tuesday...
a book titled "Message in a Bottle" by Nicholas Sparks
it was interesting -

the story is about a girl named Teresa
that finds a message in a bottle at the beach
a letter written by Garrett to his beloved Catherine,
driven by the weird emotion that intrigued her,
this letter leads her to search for him

and when she finds him they fall into a love affair

they both find a relationship that is real and promises happiness

but soon she finds out that Garrett still loves his late wife,

and he will have to forget his past in order to have a future with her

the story is about the power of love i'd imagine

seen the reviews...and yes i wrote this mainly on reviews alone lolz

there's also a 1999 movie based on it btw...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139462/plotsummary

seems like a very interesting story indeed lol, good choice ely..

guess that x-ray vision thing really works...

plusssss, the story...since its about love

has sex scenes in it....which erina would undoubtedly enjoy :3 knowing her..lol xD

don't get me wrong i still think its a good heartfelt book x_x

though i didn't even read it....maybe i would :)

ahhhhhhh, then when they finally arrived 

(30 minutes off the set time, had planned for that really -_-)

we went to eat at Tony Romas, some fine dining for the day ;)

the portions were huge x_x really, very

i could barely finish half of my RM20 pasta Dx (wasted...ish)

well most of us couldn't anyway...next time if anyone's going there, 

take my advice and - share <_<

not that we didn't want to when we ordered ours, 

just didn't know they were so...BIG T_T

lunch wasn't too bad...wasn't all that good either

the girls had to leave after it,
then we(sausage fest) went to play 4 on 4 pool xD damn fun

i didn't stay for the movie though....
no mood to hang out with a group i'm not exactly comfortable with

xian yao and jit sun were there, invited them for lunch even though i kinda dislike them

reason why i didn't stay all that long....
miss the old days where we had really close friends/groups :/

(sorry to xian yao and jit sun if u guys are reading this, i have issues -_- ignore me eh :D)

might wanna get another outing later this year...hopefully we'll be free..

ben's  gonna be leaving early this year, 

maybe have a farewell party :) close friends ONLY..

(no more class reunions okay ely)

well after the gathering i went home....chilled a little

then suggested we(my family) go to PC Fair at KLCC :D

it was lame, honestly...though at least i really got to check out all the latest laptops

was planning on going tmrw but since we went today,

tmrw i'll be free :) back to my assignments i'd say...i have to....must

just finished watching The Tooth Fairy...

yes a little outdated...but yea i rarely go to the movies...

nice show...even my dad laughed out loud xD

was touching at the end as most disney productions are and always will be, cliche much

alright i better stop here lol...sides, nothing more left to talk about..

yen yen wants to read...and its like 12:50 now & she's sleepy

well then, g'night all :)