22.09.12
Under all circumstances we all live life pretty much akin to strangers walking through dawn's misted roads. We never get to see more than the few immediate steps we take through the entire journey and sometimes we fall or get lost through its maze. Sometimes we meet guides and companions that help us brave the unknown, but truth be told the journey is yours, and yours alone to take.
It had only been slightly more than a month as it seemed, since he last gave a damn. His intentions were dead clear this time round and what had to be done had been done, given the circumstances, it just wasn't worth it anymore. The balance he tried too hard keep made it impossible for him to be happy, thus ties were cut, of lost times and past loves. After everything he had been through, this was the only easiest thing to do. He felt not the despair he always had, but a sense of calm as if emotions were put back into place where they belonged and would've stayed had it not been for her. Nevertheless it was a chapter unfolded and gone, though he never blamed her for anything because he knew the damage and destruction caused was all his own, not hers.
Mists cloud our view of the road ahead, the future, and thus his. Only about two weeks ago as he was taking days as they came, a good friend that went by the name of Tarvinder came online after a night out.
*bloop* his Skype chat beckoned its lord's attention. The next 5 minutes of chat would shock and surprise him to what his friends considered as panic or over-excitement, and he probably was.
"DEI!! you going on a date with lyn!!"
"Wtf?"
"I'll take that as a yes"
"Lol no it's just what it means, mind explaining that sentence you mentioned prior?"
"Haiz let me make it simple, YOU going on a DATE with HER, CAPISH?"
"You need to stop playing cupid dude -_- come clean why suddenly telling me to date her??"
"You want or not zzz"
"I don't mind la heh"
"Fuck you, good take her for tea tomorrow, settle!! Go talk to her now!! She's on whatsapp"
"She's on whatsapp? Heh...ok lol, never expected this but anyway thx bro <_<"
On that day he witnessed how unpredictable life can be, how when he least expected a person from his past could come back into his life. Maybe it is a calling, a lesson to be learnt, another experience to be shared or maybe something that would change things for his entire future. He was excited for what lay ahead, for the times he'd lost many years ago. Nevertheless, this time he was prepared, he knew how to deal with both acceptance and rejection, least he told himself that he would try.
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The time came again, unexpectedly and in the most surprising way. His brother in arms (the singh obviously) gave him the tip that Lyn wanted to see him this Friday, for lunch. He had a hunch what would ensue through the evening, but he had to carry on with it, it is after all nothing he had not experienced before, he was ready albeit worried. On due date, their love for fine tea wasn't met unfortunately, Winter Warmers had moved elsewhere, so they settled for an overdose of Tony Roma's.
There it was again, those same words said in the form of words a mere 5 years ago on a torn piece of paper, this time uttered through her tense voice.
"It's uhh....", there was a pause.
"It's just really hard to put into words....", another pause.
"Uhh...sigh"
"You shouldn't have to be so tense you know, it's okay"
"Just relax and say it anyh..."
"But it really is hard to put it!~"
"....anyhow you want to, I'm quite open to anything lah, aite'?"
"I've thought about it and it was really a hard decision but I just...don't see us as anything more but just friends"
He sat in silence as she continued, unfaltering, he just listened intently. For a few minutes they took it in, then he regained his composure in a new way.
"It's okay, I guess I've gotten that before so I can sort of deal with it lah", only a smile would've sufficed.
The rest of the day was many folds easier on the both of them, chatting and spending time just as close friends would, for they were.
p.s. I wrote this many days earlier but stopped right before the line, it felt unfinished so I left it a draft. Original post date 15.09.12. Oh and also, first world problems include not knowing what to change your already awesome blog url to in case you wanted to write more privately in the future, bugger lol.
*bloop* his Skype chat beckoned its lord's attention. The next 5 minutes of chat would shock and surprise him to what his friends considered as panic or over-excitement, and he probably was.
"DEI!! you going on a date with lyn!!"
"Wtf?"
"I'll take that as a yes"
"Lol no it's just what it means, mind explaining that sentence you mentioned prior?"
"Haiz let me make it simple, YOU going on a DATE with HER, CAPISH?"
"You need to stop playing cupid dude -_- come clean why suddenly telling me to date her??"
"You want or not zzz"
"I don't mind la heh"
"Fuck you, good take her for tea tomorrow, settle!! Go talk to her now!! She's on whatsapp"
"She's on whatsapp? Heh...ok lol, never expected this but anyway thx bro <_<"
On that day he witnessed how unpredictable life can be, how when he least expected a person from his past could come back into his life. Maybe it is a calling, a lesson to be learnt, another experience to be shared or maybe something that would change things for his entire future. He was excited for what lay ahead, for the times he'd lost many years ago. Nevertheless, this time he was prepared, he knew how to deal with both acceptance and rejection, least he told himself that he would try.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The time came again, unexpectedly and in the most surprising way. His brother in arms (the singh obviously) gave him the tip that Lyn wanted to see him this Friday, for lunch. He had a hunch what would ensue through the evening, but he had to carry on with it, it is after all nothing he had not experienced before, he was ready albeit worried. On due date, their love for fine tea wasn't met unfortunately, Winter Warmers had moved elsewhere, so they settled for an overdose of Tony Roma's.
There it was again, those same words said in the form of words a mere 5 years ago on a torn piece of paper, this time uttered through her tense voice.
"It's uhh....", there was a pause.
"It's just really hard to put into words....", another pause.
"Uhh...sigh"
"You shouldn't have to be so tense you know, it's okay"
"Just relax and say it anyh..."
"But it really is hard to put it!~"
"....anyhow you want to, I'm quite open to anything lah, aite'?"
"I've thought about it and it was really a hard decision but I just...don't see us as anything more but just friends"
He sat in silence as she continued, unfaltering, he just listened intently. For a few minutes they took it in, then he regained his composure in a new way.
"It's okay, I guess I've gotten that before so I can sort of deal with it lah", only a smile would've sufficed.
The rest of the day was many folds easier on the both of them, chatting and spending time just as close friends would, for they were.
p.s. I wrote this many days earlier but stopped right before the line, it felt unfinished so I left it a draft. Original post date 15.09.12. Oh and also, first world problems include not knowing what to change your already awesome blog url to in case you wanted to write more privately in the future, bugger lol.
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