5:43pm
just got back from college
really really worn out and not so dry..
yes it was raining(actually more like drizzling) and i walked back -_-
so what i like it lol

met michelle and timmy today during my hour break
we ate at subway with michie's new found friend denise :)
finally get to catch up with her
she and her friend are doing SAM too...but different class hours from mine
and as usual the couple kept going with perverted comments o_o
smacking each others butt and stuff ._. pda much, no wait its pdp -_-
Public Display of Perversion x_x

gonna start my 2000 word draft soon
yes u heard that right, no typo...
2000 words, and its a DRAFT
supposed to write another report thats another 2000 words (wth? Dx)
SAM - Self-Abusive Matriculation
sigh...

well the good thing is that the editorial supervisors admired my magazine cover :D
awesome, until they found out it was taken online :/
its still a concept though....and i plan to finish it
with a real photograph
and something credited to me :3

hope that at the end of the day
it'll all be worth it...

might continue this later at night...
till then,

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11:19pm
aku pergi tidur dulu.. xD

back there

12:10 am (supposed to be monday's post)
almost forgot to blog lol
well i'm not exactly used to blogging
even less blogging everyday <_<
yes, i'm trying to post something everyday
till i run out of stuff to say ._.

back to college today
and it was better with them at the back of my mind
though i still don't feel comfortable mixing with the class
as a whole,
and its a weird feeling
like feeling lonely without being left alone?
my class is outgoing and fun and all
but still no one i can really click with -_-
(gone were the days of ben and montri and 5 cempaka lolz)

well there's this indian guy in class that we dared
to shave his head bald
before the mid-sem holidays started
and he did o_o
the class had a great time playing with his new
velcro/stud-filled scalp
(some even tried using it AS velcro, crazy class ._.)

haven't touched my guitar in days
since friday anyway
good thing my fingertips still feel a little
stiff? hard? i don't know...
usually for a guitarist when your fingertips start getting hard
its a good sign you've been playing a while
and probably be quite experienced
won't say i am an experienced guitar player but i'm working on it lol x_x

its about 12:40 now...
better hit the sack :)
class is at 8...
8am...

the sky at 8

"ready to have a new start??" she said,

maybe it is a new start to her

since she's moving to the march intake and all

but i'm still in S3(err thats my class/group) with a tonne of work

strapped onto my back with nothing less than RM9k worth of fees -_-

i can't quit and start over no matter how much i want to, hell..

the burden x_x uhhhh...

but its partly true now that she's gone

i won't get to see her in class anymore, maybe concentrate better

it isn't me to be saying this but

i hope i don't see her anymore till my college stuff gets sorted out...

flashback to a few weeks back

we hung out after class at the library till 8pm for i think 2 days?

the sky was beautiful each evening on our walk to the college entrance..

one moment i'll always remember when i think of her
walking through the middle of the large clearing in our campus
in full view of the twilight..

we'd place our fingers together to form a picture perfect "portrait" of the sky

and the sky would see through that other side of the portrait, us...

"i need another hand (for this)" - Joanne

soon i might stop writing about her
one being that i don't have that many "moments" with her and
because i'm beginning to feel calm and i don't really want to have this
messing with my mind and emotions
for now...

right now its almost midnight...

wonder if there's still a train to dreamland ._.
hmm...

memories

its 11:33pm
been doing maths for the past 10 minutes maybe
just got back from a day of walking , driving , going out ,
chatting with friends(maybe someone special)
and waiting...
exhausted to say the least, and i barely started doing assignments due next week
theres 7 altogether and all different from the last, to be done in
one sunday (which apparently has turned gloomy)

and to be honest i'm not stressed...its like i'm expecting to be expelled from SAM
despite her leaving our intake to the march intake
i doubt it'll be any different
with kheng yu still in my class/group (for the record, i'm not gay -_-)
at the end of it all i think i will dread my college life
i hate it now...

memories memories, they live in your head like little fairies
bad memories eat you up while good ones are heartfelt...
kheng yu's a bad memory
not insulting his very existence, but thats how it is after joanne

the night before the last i made a vow that i would care
well its just a mediocre poem-like written promise
though i can only if she lets me, i haven't heard from her today
and i don't have to.
i'm starting to think that she's better off with someone else
and not cause i am feeling down and useless right now but through real thought
i don't feel close to her anymore
and the feeling is probably mutual.

maybe because of how things are now we've stopped trying
i've missed the nights of me and you, joanne

of theDream

went out this morning to what i thought would be a disaster and so it happened to be

but not in the way i expected

i still think a lot about her, joanne

she tells me to quit being emo and stuff, concentrate on my studies so i can ace through SAM

thats probably why i really like her...she lifts me, my hopes up more than anyone else...

notice that picture saying "Dun Emo" on the right of this post, well thats hers to me...

i never get peace of mind...well not cause i keep thinking of her but...

mainly due to the complicated relationship between us...there's another guy that "loves" her

he can say he loves her but does he really care

though i think its just infatuation (or maybe my jealousy of being sidelined by another guy that gets to chat with her so casually)

its just such a mess, what is love?

i know i don't say i love joanne...i just care for her...

but seeing her smile and laugh with the other guy

its just painful, every minute everyday...

though i know its her thats happy, i'm glad she is...just part of me dies too

today was supposed to be some study group between

me, joanne and kheng yu (yeah, he's the other guy)

apparently she got a little unwell before we even started and so had to go home and rest

i'm not blaming her, after all she had to...its just the uncomfortable trio that bothers me

doubt we can ever study together and feel "great"

and i kinda hate the fact that i'm actually blogging about this :/

its what kheng yu would do, not me..(he just disgusts me -_-)

well, to anyone that just coincidentally bumped into this....

welcome to theDream, this is me...