of theDream

went out this morning to what i thought would be a disaster and so it happened to be

but not in the way i expected

i still think a lot about her, joanne

she tells me to quit being emo and stuff, concentrate on my studies so i can ace through SAM

thats probably why i really like her...she lifts me, my hopes up more than anyone else...

notice that picture saying "Dun Emo" on the right of this post, well thats hers to me...

i never get peace of mind...well not cause i keep thinking of her but...

mainly due to the complicated relationship between us...there's another guy that "loves" her

he can say he loves her but does he really care

though i think its just infatuation (or maybe my jealousy of being sidelined by another guy that gets to chat with her so casually)

its just such a mess, what is love?

i know i don't say i love joanne...i just care for her...

but seeing her smile and laugh with the other guy

its just painful, every minute everyday...

though i know its her thats happy, i'm glad she is...just part of me dies too

today was supposed to be some study group between

me, joanne and kheng yu (yeah, he's the other guy)

apparently she got a little unwell before we even started and so had to go home and rest

i'm not blaming her, after all she had to...its just the uncomfortable trio that bothers me

doubt we can ever study together and feel "great"

and i kinda hate the fact that i'm actually blogging about this :/

its what kheng yu would do, not me..(he just disgusts me -_-)

well, to anyone that just coincidentally bumped into this....

welcome to theDream, this is me...